A Thousand Different Ways

I am sitting here hugging on to my fears
Watching my cold dripping tears
Take me along with you, I am begging please
Time and memories is all I will ever miss

Just watching you smile
Makes good memories worth while
When life comes to a halting pile
A face with a broken smile

Who ever you have been
You are good at it
Bringing life to it
Bringing joy to it

Somehow painful to see me bleed
Sometimes chasing greed
Now fallen to my feet
My own pride and sorrow I meet

A thousand different ways
Many different days
How come to me.....its all same?

Riches

The world today
A place where money and power play
Bringing hard days and creating evil ways
Human control the world

Money makes the world turn
Money also causes people to crash and burn
Money is fun
Sometimes it bring trouble, its time to run

Money kills
Money also heals
Money brings goodness to some
To some, money is a weapon

People are driven by money
A few pieces of valuable paper
Valuable color papers
Sadly....these riches lay at our feet

God counts our deeds
The amount of people we meet
The amount of people.....we made them bleed
Making their lives our planted seed....grow.....

Nautical Twilight

As I look to the skies
The awesome color comforts my eyes
Well...its the Nautical Twilight
The orange purple so bright

I watched from a far
I saw you leaving
To somewhere far
Flying with your mighty wings

I only sailed in a boat
Wishing to catch up
All I could do is float
Watch you disappear into the Nautical Twilight

You went somewhere far.....
You will be fine......
I pray you will be fine....
I am sorry......

A Heavy Burden

Looking from the stars
Please tell me what do you see from a far
I see people carrying burdens
Heavy burdens till they burn into their backs

After being told and I looked up in the mirror
I sorry for being a burden to you
A boundary for you
A great burden to you

Now I am happy that you are free
Well, you don't have to worry about me
When the time come I will flee
In my memories, you will always be with me

Memories which are lock down tight
Memories which remain bright
Memories which I hug goodnight
Your face will be in my memory, still shining bright

Goodbye.......

Waiting

Waiting for a call which never comes,
Waiting for a message which never comes,
Words which contains no feelings,
Words which have no sound,

I was waiting,
I am hurting,
Weird.... I am still thinking,
My eyes stopped blinking,

Years of waiting,
My life finally stopped playing,
The wait that hurt,
The wait that brings thoughts and sadness

The wait that have ended....
No more waiting....

Ignored

I look for you,
I waited for you,
I miss you,
People could see me turn blue,

No, not because of flu,
But of the feeling of missing you,
Can't deny it, its true
I really miss you.

I am here standing at the hall way,
Waiting for you all day,
Thinking and planning of what to say,
When I approach you, you just walked away.

I get ignored everyday....
I guess it will remain this way....

Lonely

I lost....
I loose....
I stumble....
I fall......

I don't get it, why?
Why am I alone......
Why I can't call your phone.....
Its painful, like a broken bone....

What is love?
Love is free
Love flies like a dove
Love is not control....

Why can't I be where you are?
Are you really that far?
Far as in restricted?
Far as in unreachable?

Have you ever tried being robbed?
Robbed of something you treasured so dearly
You are still 18 years old, Its still early
The pain and grief which stabs you

Now I am pushed out
I can see your face, damn proud
There's nowhere to run
I have no place to go

You are missing in my heart.......

"Normally, humans kill with their mind"
- DixoN-

3 Emotions

Letting go a part of me
Its like a blade which cuts right through me
My heart cant stop bleeding
Cant believe the flashback that I am reading

I am going to miss you
All I have is faint memories
I guess I wont see you forever
Someday or may be never.....

Challenges come, I give in
Tough times come, I give in
Looking at the rubbish bin
Can't believe how much shit I am in

I can't bow to you
The image behind the song
The killer behind the creator
The force behind the weak

I stand on my ground
Look at you and frown
You brought hurt & pain
But I guess, what the heck do you gain?

Playing your own game
Polluting your own name
Trying to build your fame
Look in the mirror, how lame.....

I have beat you down the first time
Looking forward to the second time
Cant wait to hear the bell chime
Just the right time

Lost and lonely
Tired and hungry
Walking down....
Looking down.....

Confused by whats around
Scared and afraid to make a sound
Threats all around
My feet is fear bound

I am confused....
Sad, I am bruised
Angry, I am bruised
Confused, end of life.....

Dissapointments

Hate my life....
I wish to die
I wish to cry
I wish to remove the hurts and lies

Sometimes I wish to return to the skies
Say my final goodbye
Believe that my life is all a lie....
Wishing I would just give in and die

Promise made and said
Promise broken and fade
Cut, hurts, and brusied serenade
I am bleeding

Tell me why life is so great
I don't understand, but rather to be dead
Its better done than said....
I'd rather be....
DEAD...

Broken Window

The time we use to laugh and play
Almost every night and day
Cheerful voices everyday
Happiness completes everything I have to say

Standing on the ground we used to play
Alone here almost every night and day
Shouts, pain and tears everyday
Picture and flashback completes everything I have to say

This was once a beautiful house
This is the place I used to keep my pet mouse
This was once my resting place
The place full of memories

As I stand outside
Looking through the broken window
Building up my sorrow
Missing joy is something you can never borrow

I have lost something that starts with 'J'
Still can't make up a word to say
I think the next letter is 'O'
Trying to cover my sorrow
I got it, the last letter is 'Y'
Lost something precious and it makes me want to cry.....

My memories stored through this broken window......

Just Down

Well I am sure everyone had this before
Just one extremely down and broken day
A day which you have just absolutely nothing to say
Too weak to play, what a day......

Sometimes, its just plain down
Down to the rough ground
Sometimes, just could not hear you heart pound....
It kinda stopped sometimes.....

Waiting for encouragement to make it pound again
Encouragement to refresh the brain
Take away the extreme pain
Washing away bad memories till its faint....

For Life

Having a sister is like having a best friend for life,
Someone which is always there to help you survive,

Someone to hug you when you are down,
Someone to chat to when you are bored,

Someone for you to joke with
Someone for you to laugh with

Someone which is just there to listen to your problems
Someone to give you advice

Someone there to dry your tears and ask whats wrong
Someone there to bring you a joyful song.....

This are the few things which some people can't have for life.....

Missing Person

I woke up from my dreams,
All too real as it seems,
You were there,
You were someone who cared,

Hugged me when I was down,
Wipe away my frown,
Wipe away my tears,
Dissolve my fears ,
Help me make a joyful sound,
I really love having you around,

I woke up from my dreams
All too real as it seems
You were gone
Couldn't get your phone

My head fell to the ground,
From a distance, some could hear the thud sound,
That was a painful sound,
Tears stream down my face,
Fear bruised my face,
I miss having you around,

Now in reality its clear,
I miss my dear sister,
My dear missing person,
In my dreams, you are my Missing Person....

Afraid......

When I cry, there is a reason
When I weep, there is a reason
When I am down, there is a reason
When I am worried, there is a reason

Just to let you know,
You can't stop all this from happening to me,
Its a natural thing,
God gave you to me, so how can I just let it be?

I am worried about your health,
But never worried about your wealth,
To me, your health comes first,
Sometimes worried about it, till my head nearly burst

You are someone precious,
Not and never something precious.....

When I am down to the ground,
You are there to pick me up, give me a cheer,
When I cry,
There is always a shoulder for me to cry on,

Wanted to have a sister since I was born,
Most of my hopes torn,
Sometimes I could be a fuss,
A whole lot of problems left in the dust

I am afraid,
Afraid of losing you,
This is really true,
I am just afraid.....

With All I Am

Hello there, this is me
I don't really know much about me
Just wanting all I could ever be
But, failure is all I see

I walk but fall
Run but hit the wall
I am locked in this small hall
Tossed around like a ball

Whatever seem big to me
To others, they seem small
With all I am
Picking myself up in front of them

With all I am
I won't weep or cry
Just hold on till time pass by
Don't worry, I won't die....

I will see you soon, with all I am.....

Listen To Me

Hey God, are you there?
Do you even care?
Sometimes I really think its not fair.....
What are you doing?

Don't just stare!!
Help me....
Listen to me.....
This are my prayers

Well, I wish I could just close my eyes and trust you
That is sometimes all I want to do
When I feel blue
When I am lost without a clue.....

Can't seem to except what is true
I just want you to listen...
Listen well...
Hope this rings a bell...

Thank You For Loving Me

Sometimes there are word which just to hard to express
I still can't, even if I did my best
Living everyday of my life as if they were my last
Time is something that just passes so fast

This is something I want you to know
I will put my pride and head down to bow

Thank you for loving me
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You are all I wanted to be
Thank you for loving me

You were a part of me
When my hope were down to its knees
Thank you for picking me up
Giving my heart a gentle rub

When I fall into my sea of despair
You were there to part it, just to save me.....
When my heart shattered
You were there to pick the pieces up

You are my whole lot of encouragement
When I couldn't fly
Thought that best if I could die
You gave me wings....

I have nothing to give in return
All I've got to give to you
Are all I have, this five word tonight
Thank you for loving me.....

The Reason

I am not and never a perfect person
I was made with errors even when the Earth turned
Scars on me body which burned
Nope!! Still no lesson learned

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

No matter how scared
No matter how pain
No matter how stressful
Nothing will ever stop me from holding on

I will always keep this bond
Tell me I am wrong
Torture me for long
I will take all of that and still stand tall in front of you

I won't fight back
I will take that smack
Go ahead, give me a whack
Give my heart and head a great big crack

After all you have done
Nope!! I won't run
I can take more hurt than you ever can bring
So I will continue to stand in this round ring

I will never give up something so precious so easily
Well, thats just me.......

Empty boat

Come come!! Hop on
Let's go see the sunset
Back to the place where we met

We laughed in the boat
We chatted till late
Looking at the sun round and red

Where are you now?
I am all alone.....
I am alone in my empty boat

I used to have someone here
I used to smile
Please come back for a ride

Come, sit by my side
I will row down the lake and back
I will bring you back

I have waited so long for someone
Now, I will row my boat
Row down the lake, but......

I will never come back......

He Ran to Me

He was great
He was mighty
He was a mighty conquerer
But He ran

The only time He ran
I saw God ran
Not from trouble and problem
But to trouble and problem

This is the only time I saw Him ran
He ran to me
Hugged me to his chest
Told me, I could close my eyes and rest

When I left Him, the day when I left home
I knew I hurt Him so badly
I had broken His heart....
Took away my part....

I met Him in my dreams
Wonder and compassion all it seems
His bright face beams

One night, I returned
With my face partly burned
All my prides burned
My hopes burned

The only time I will ever see him run.....

He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest
Looked in my face
Wiped the painful tears from my eyes

Looked at me and said, " Son, do you know I still love you? "
He has been waiting for me to return
He has been waiting for this day......
His hug, word and forgiveness healed me......